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    Launched Tuesday, Better Together Dating is free and boasts a logo of the EU flag with hearts instead of stars. You’re not Elon Musk- you ain’t Marissa Mayer, you’re not going to get to space, and you won’t build the next Space X. Fuck your open space floor plans- You really think Zucks builds Facebook’s 2017 roadmap while a nerf war is raging outside? Fuck working out of garages and fuck your 2.5 square meters “workspace”. Fuck the transparency trend, the post mortem and the 5 whys. Fuck having a Design sprint in EVERY sprint, pushing to production 100 times a day, using no staging environment and building a micro services architecture. Nobody gives a fuck that Elon musk is working 100 hours a week, and that Marissa Mayer pulling in a 130 hour work week while still breastfeeding her newborns. You should celebrate any day that you don’t have to sell off another part of your company. Fuck you for telling me that TV is a waste of time but you’re all about the Netflix and chill. And I never got a compilation error on a white board, when I need a hash set in Java I just use Hash Set- I don’t fucking care about the complexity of this code block because I can afford another EC2 instance! Everyone there is the CEO of something-something and they’re all building a MVP to disrupt the who gives a fuck market and that hockey-stick growth is guaranteed.” So they messed around in the kitchen until they got this sweet son of a bitch.* *almost positive this definitely probably happened.Fuck your startup scene with your 30 minute morning routines of reading Tech Crunch, TNW, Wired, Gizmodo, Mashable, The Verge and Product Hunt- all so you don’t feel ‘left out’. Fuck spending money on ping pong tables that no one ever uses, fucking music rooms, nap rooms, meditation rooms, stress-free rooms, and pilates rooms. Fuck your unlimited vacation policy, it’s fucking bullshit.

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